Monday, July 21, 2008

Soul searching and Goal Setting

So, far this summer has been a real soul searching time for me. I think it is a combination of many sister having a beautiful baby boy and being extremely happy for her, but at the same time kind of wishing I could of had that precious bonding time between mother and infant. I am not having a pity party just wishing for more time with my kiddos. Could all of this emotion be a result of my twins heading to first grade this year and being away from me all day? I LOVED my afternoons with them!
I also have been doing a great Bible Study that has really caused me to dig deep and find w/ in myself some issues I don't really want to deal with. Another huge factor of is just recently celebrating my 10th anniversary. This is a huge landmark but, I don't think anything has quite made me feel so old! I pulled out the pictures and wanted to cry! My husband looks better today than the day we were married, but not me! What has happened to me? I wonder how he could still love me, as I don't even look like the same person? Can we say INSECURE? It didn't even make me feel better that I tried on my wedding dress and it still fit! Maybe it was the comment that a so called friend made to me, "Well of course it still fits you never had to go through pregnancy and childbirth. You have no excuses." All in all anniversary was great-a trip to Hawaii and a fun night out here in Boise. Just a major realization through the whole thing that I have some major things to work on in my own life!
The other day I was reading one of my favorite blogs and P.W. posed a question that really got me thinking....Looking back 10 years ago did your life turn out the way you had planned?
For me personally I thought all of the changes in my life occurred about 13 years ago when I changed colleges, majors, career choice, surrendered to full time ministry service, and decided that maybe I would think about interrupting my career before the age of 30 to get married and have children. Soon after all of these changes I met and fell in love with my husband. At that point I knew my full time christian service would be walking through life as the wife of a pastor. I wasn't sure what all the journeywould entail, but I was willing to give it my best shot. Oh, ignorance is bliss!
So, looking back 10 years my life is definitely different than I expected, but GREAT different! I have a wonderful husband and 3 incredible children. I had no idea that we would have to go through so much to finally have our family, but it was all so worth it! With God on our side we have overcome things in these past 10 years I never could of thought possible. I am so GLAD that I did not know some of the things we would have to face! All I can say is God is good all the time, and He has continued to be with us through the mountains and the valleys.
Whew! This is pretty deep for me, but all of this soul searching finally came to a head for me yesterday at church. Dr. Jerry Thorpe brought an incredible message and challenge to me personally. He talked a lot about setting goals and the importance of doing so. I would say that for the first 25 years of my life I was incredibly goal oriented and driven. Not to make excuses but motherhood has kind of put anything about me in the backseat. I have no career goals or even real ministry goals at the present time. My goals for most days are just making sure that everyone is dressed, fed, gets to where they need to go, and most importantly happy.
I was definitely challenged on Sunday to once again sit down and write out my goals. It has been a long time since I have done this. He explained how we need to separate our goal categories, and that they need to be measurable and attainable.
Not that the last 10 years of my life have been disappointing, but I think the next 10 will be more fulfilling with the practice of setting and attaining goals on a regular basis. I guess what it comes down to is I don't want to settle for mediocrity any longer. So, hopefully today as my kids are splashing around in our pool I will be able to get my goals in writing. I am so thankful that all of my soul searching this summer has led me to this exercise. Thank you Lord for speaking to me through this message!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

10 Years

Ten years ago today I married my best friend. Many things have changed during this decade (jobs, kids, our goals, etc.), but the one thing that has remained the same is you still remain my best friend.
My life has been made complete because you are a part of it. I am so grateful to have such a Godly husband and father to our children. So, in honor of our tenth anniversary I am going to give my top ten reasons I am so glad that we are married:
1. You are the spiritual leader of our house. I am so thankful that you are spiritually mature and have a close relationship with the Lord. I do not doubt your decisions or leadership because I know and witness your complete dependence upon Him.
2. The priority that you place upon making our marriage work. Thank you for always making time for me. It is so obvious to me that you are constantly trying to keep our marriage alive.
3. Making me laugh. I can honestly say that I have laughed more in these past 13 years than any other time in my life. I absolutely love your sense of humor! I sure hope when I get old that I don't lose bladder control, because sometimes I laugh so hard at you that I think it could happen!
4. You bring out the best in me. I appreciate the way that you encourage me and try to help me overcome my weaknesses (which are many). You always do it in a loving way. Thank you for always believing in me even when I don't believe in myself.
5. Being the best Dad ever! You are such a Godly example to our kids.
6. Always providing for our family. Thank you for being such a hard worker and meeting all of our needs. I truly appreciate your work ethic.
7. Your call and faithfulness to ministry. It has been awesome to see you grow and mature in your ministry. Thank you for your faithfulness to God's calling for your life. God has truly blessed you with amazing talent, and I am so thankful that you are using it to glorify Him.
8. Your enthusiasm for life and positive outlook. You are definitely the glass is half full instead of half empty type of guy.
9. The way that you love and have accepted my family. I am so grateful that you have such a great relationship with each of them.
10. Your smokin' hot body! Age has been good to you Babe!
Happy ten years! I can't wait to celebrate many more anniversaries w/ you! Thanks for making our tenth so special. Hawaii was such a WONDERFUL trip, mainly because I had time to focus just on you and us. I had time to see the real you again with out any interruptions, and was reminded of all the reasons why I fell in love with you and married you to begin with.